R Is For Reasons.

I'm glad we've experienced those times...

Someone once told me that you shouldn't keep your feelings in a tight lid cause one day,that jar will be too full and everything will come out.That person is right.Last night was a night of 2 years of pain,sadness,loneliness and anger.The jar broke and everything splashed against the pages of my memories.My family is broken.After all the restless nights and days of countless crying and frustrations,I have finally accepted that fact.
I have accepted the fact that maybe we aren't the only ones that my father loved anymore.I have accepted the fact that I can never go back to the past and feel the joy that once poured over my family.I have accepted the fact that people can change and can never trust anyone,not even your family.I've accepted it all.
For the first time ever in my life,I shouted at my parents and I felt nothing.No remorse for what I have done,no anger.Nothing.Is that right?I shocked my parents thats for sure.They were speechless.My feelings took over me and I let everything out.I wonder,do they understand me now?

Umi and Abah,I am sorry.I can't do this anymore.I am so sorry.