via: twistedtheory

A Peaceful Mind.

I wouldn't say I triumphed over my own desires, but I'm proud to say that I had done the right thing. Even though it hurts me inside, I'm okay. Emotional pain might leave a scar, but like every scar, it'll fade away. I was scared that my walls would grow stronger but I'm wrong. Somehow, it's gone. I'm no longer a secret garden, I refuse to be one. It's funny how quickly my fears and insecurity subsided and instead my heart sought new experiences and solace in little things. Strange. I refuse to look back. How can you move forward if you keep on looking back? I'm walking on a new path but I'm not alone, I was never alone to begin with. I was too arrogant to realize that. My life was once filled with ellipses but that wont happen again. I vow to fill the pages of my book with metaphors and exclamation marks. I vow to appreciate the little things in life and be grateful with whatever events that occurred/will occur in my life. I vow to be a better person and hopefully, I will be.

"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."

Nadirah :B

So I thought that since I wrote a post for Insiya, might as well I write another for my other awesome roomy. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! The fabulous, zany and nonchalant diva with many faces. Girl, you've got a whole lot of energy in you and I swear, one day, you're gonna drive your family insane (or maybe you've already done that). I thought that I've already understood the definition of crazy but then I met you and you changed that definition. You came and highlighted the word and screamed it at the top of your lungs. Not really surprise of course since your name itself means unique in Arabic and boy, you're unique alright *ehem ehem* I've never met anyone with so many expressions and can actually flare their nose that big, like seriously girl. If there was a flare-your-nose competition, you would have won first prize, no doubt about that. And Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee? Speechless *shakes head*
Not trying to offend anyone or being racist but if you were black, you'd be Nicki Minaj. Being with you have taught me a lot of things like how to hold on to my sanity, act like a boss just cause we can (cause we're cool liddat!) and not to cry over anyone who doesn't appreciate me. That means a lot to me *smile* It killed me when you refused to touch the pole in the bus. Who knew that Contagion could really affect you?! *laughs* Again if I were to write everything about you, it would take up a hell of a space and we wouldn't want other secrets to be spilled online now would we? *wink wink*
Omai wa,hontoni daisuki dayoo! *sloppy kisses*

Insiya :)

My dearest friend, Insiya, told me to write so I shall (haa mei likrahihu Insiya)..
I'll dedicate this post to you since you've been such a sweetheart and allowed me to stalk Dimple's profile *giggle* Insiya, tum mere bohot pagal dost (you've taught me Hindi well). The name itself speaks of eccentricity and amusement. You're insane, cheerful, motherly and a genius all at once. Maybe that's why "Fish" wanted you to be his wife so bad *cough cough* Being friends with you have taught me a lot of things like how to speak Hindi, knowing different types of briyani that exists in your ancestor's country, how to cope with Nad's craziness (no offense Nad. I still love you though) and of course being strong throughout my life, no matter what the obstacles may be.
I secretly admire your individuality. I love the fact that you're able to walk with your head up in your traditional clothing when others turn and whisper. It's very admirable and it irks me every time they do that to you *growls silently* But it's okay though cause you're beautiful inside and out. Tum mere Kareena Kapoor! I love the fact that you scream like hell when Tiddles, Daisy and all the other cats I've "adopted" in IIUM comes near you. It kills me every time! You're so hilarious my "Bollywood" friend and thanks for teaching me the balle balle dance and joining in with my old Hindi songs *mini balle balle* And who can forget your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in cleaning? I've never met anyone who refuses to shower before cleaning every single surface of her room. I mean, chill dude! But it's good though, your mother-in-law will definitely adore you. I wish that I can write more but if I do, it'll take up a lot of space. Not that that is wrong but you get my gist right? Anyway, mein tumhe bohot bohot pyaar karti hoon *dramatic Bollywood friendship-hug scene*

P.s. We really gotta fix your expression when you laugh. Sometimes I don't know whether you're in pain or you're laughing. No offense love.
P.s.s. Acha? :D

Okay.

via: twistedtheory

It's odd how quiet life would be like when changes started to occur in your life.Everything seems more complicated and you take more time evaluate certain aspects of your life.You lose the confidence that you once had and you go back to being the wallflower that you used to be.It's even more amazing how stronger you become and you realise that it doesn't matter anymore.Whatever happens,happen.You become indifferent.You don't bother looking back anymore because the past just hurts,so you look forward and try to make every day worth living.And hopefully,you'll make it out of this storm without bruising yourself anymore.

The Wallflower.

She looked down immediately when he entered the class and smiled silently to herself. Butterflies danced in her stomach and a gleeful sensation warmed her skin. She risked a glanced and felt her heart melt. He nodded silently to the beat of an unknown music, singing softly to himself, drumming his fingers against the black, small table. His eyes grew wary and soon surrendered to his fantasy world. He sighed softly and leaned back against his chair. His eyes suddenly locked on hers and she quickly looked away. She could feel her face heat up and looked down, letting her hair hide her face. She was a wallflower. She didn't belong in his world and he was too much of a fantasy to belong in hers. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her raging heart. Calmed and composed, she glanced back again. Her eyes immediately bored on his and suddenly everything was okay. He didn't look away and neither did she. They shared a brief moment of wonder and slowly, he smiled. Her mouth curved into a small smile and she looked away. Her cheeks flared red again and she looked down to hide her face. Slowly, she smiled and thought; he looked at me!

via: yawndere 

I Want To Find Myself.

via: twistedtheory

Certain events that occurred these past few days made me pause for a moment.I realised things really have changed,like drastically.I've become blinded with chasing for a way to escape that I didn't realise the changes around me.I want to swim in the ocean and find a new shore with a towering lighthouse that'll guide me to a place where I belong.I'm tired of drowning in the deep blue,suffocated by the salty water,not knowing when I'll see the shore,not knowing whether or not I'll survive.I hate that feeling.One day,I want to be able to stand back and look back at the sea and scream as loud as I can.When that day comes,I'll find myself.

Not Quite Malay.

Ta'aruf week. We looked like the R&R workers...

Hello hello :)

Feels like forever since I last wrote *reminiscing*  So yeah, the update:

I am officially an IIUM student *victory dance* I feel so young here cause everyone looks older, like way way older (with the beard and all). Gombak is huge. It's like a whole different world here, literally. I can barely breathe after my walk, no journey, from my mahallah (or hostel) to my classes. I also feel like I'm not really in my own country cause of all the international students and lecturers here. Its completely flooded with Arabs, Koreans, Chinese, Nigerians, Africans and who knows what. I heard that we received a Mexican student for my intake *searching* Lecturers here are not like the CFS ones at all (duh!). They have this whole I-don't-care-whether-you-want-to-learn-or-sleep-in-my-class attitude and it's kind of frustrating cause it's hard to get help from them. I guess this is what they call independency *rolls eyes*

The Baker.

Busy busy busy! Though I certainly did not forget to bake some goodies for Eid. So for this year's Eid, my most beloved mother asked us to bake some simple delicacy for our guest since we wont be around at home that much, hence something that will kind of last long. I was hoping to post the recipe on here but the recipe is with my sister and I didn't really remember all of it except for the Victorian Sponge Cake. Hontoni gomenasai!! >_< 

Victorian Sponge Cake:

150g self-raising flour

150g caster sugar

150g margarine

3 eggs

2 tsp vanilla essence

4 tbsp maple syrup

Filling; strawberry jam and whipped cream

P.s. I will definitely ask my sister for the recipe.

Pretty Spiritual.

I found this website on Tumblr and I just fell in love with the beautiful calligraphy. It's actually a wall sticker but they made it in a way that it looks like its been painted on the wall. So beautiful. I am so gonna have this in the near future, insyaAllah.

Check out more at http://zamadesigns.com/gallery