To a dearest friend,Tino.
Where do I even begin?Sorry doesn't seem to be the right word.The word itself seems so familiar to my mouth.How many times have I said "Sorry" to the people who are important to me.The word itself seems so dangerous in these situation.The word itself is a master of disguise.But once again,I have to force myself to use this word to someone important to me.I am sorry.I truly am.I'm sorry for everything.
No excuses can heal your wounded heart and I'm so sorry for being so pathetic.Yes you're right,I am no longer the same person that you once knew.My heart is heavy from straying thoughts that continue to haunt me.I'm sorry but unlike you,I can't run away from this problem anymore.The person that you once knew has long gone and in it's place is someone insecure,someone who fears the presence of others being too close to her.I'm sorry for neglecting you,I'm sorry for not sharing with you my deepest thoughts.Truth is,I've stopped sharing my thoughts with people.
I realised that people can betray you at anytime and yes,not everyone is like that but I'm sorry.I've been betrayed way too many times and I just can't afford to go through the whirlpool of misery again.I rather I keep these feelings of mine bottle up then let it out.You might have a different opinion but this is how I keep myself stable.This facade of mine is what keeps me going every single day.Do not question my actions.I just ask you to respect my decision for now.
One day,insyaAllah,if I still have the strength,I will let it out.I'm just not ready to trust people yet.I'm not asking for you to forgive me or to wait for me but I just ask you to respect my decision for now.I am sorry for not confronting you up front about this.I just don't have the strength to see people right now.Once again,I am sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
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