A Bit Too Late.

Yes, I do believe that I am a bit too late to wish this but Happy Eid Mubarak to everyone! My reasons for being this late are very simple. Number 1: I wasn't exactly at home most of the time. Was rushing here and there and I also had to go up north for my Uncle's wedding. Can I just have a moment to whine about how terrible the line is up there? I could barely call let alone text anyone, and obviously there wasn't any internet connection so so much for escaping into the cyber world. Number 2: when I got back home, the worst possible scenario happened, which was the electricity decided to disappear from our neighbourhood. Can you believe that? We actually had to use our candles momentarily but thank God, the electrician came over and fixed the circuit pole or whatever you call it.
During Eid, I managed to learn how to make ketupat. Well sort of...if you count pouring the pulut grain into already made ketupat casing? Let me have a moment to express my deepest respect to all the women out there who are able to actually weave the casing of ketupat properly, cause it is so hard! My fingers were fumbling over each other and I actually cut myself, yes I ashamedly admit that. I only managed to weave like maybe 60% of it but I couldn't join it up. In the end, I gave up and watched in awe as my aunt folded and slide the leaves in between one another and ta-da! The ketupat is made!

Homemade ketupat :)

Frustration.

via: suuriin

Even when I promise to accept all of your decisions,it still hurts.I know that you're doing the right thing and I'm biting my own tongue to stop myself from saying all the wrong words but honestly,I wish that we were never stuck in this position to begin with.Watching you leave and see the emptiness in her eyes is just too much for me.My heart aches to see those tears fall from her cheeks and I hate the sound of our bickering voices that continue to shred at our hearts bit by bit.I'm tired of hoping and yet at the same time,I'm scared to surrender into indifference.Faith is the only thing that is keeping me in place and hopefully,this tiny faith of mine can get me through this storm.

This Song.

Lightbulb.

I accompanied my mum to our other house and let me just say how ecstatic I am about the renovation.I think the designs are brilliant and I love my new room.I've always been a fan of Japanese style and my mum purposely designed my room in that style.I'm gonna have a shoji sliding door instead of the typical door and wooden floorings.I'm currently trying to persuade my mum to buy a futon mattress instead of a bed but its still unsure.I've been searching for Japanese futon but they don't really sell it here,except for this one company in Australia.That's just too troublesome.The best thing about my room is the high ceiling.There's windows right at the top so morning light comes in through the top but not in a horrible,get-the-light-out-of-my-face way.I love that.And I am so gonna ask my dad to buy me a tall bookcase.I'm gonna need more shelves to put more of my books.Teheeee!

via: itsmoisarah

Green Is Good.

I don't know why I'm in such an artistic mood these few days.It's like there's a weird,crazy vibe going on in me and I just gotta let it out in the form of art.Thus,I decided to do another drawing! *crazy laugh* It wasn't supposed to be anybody but my little sister said it looks like me...I don't know if I should be please or not *thinking*

Pencil,Pencil Colours & Watercolour.

Before the detailing.

I spent the day being an "artist" and at one point,I decided to draw my sister.Unfortunately,I really need to work on more realistic drawings and thus,the picture looks nothing like her *silent laugh*

After the detailing :)

Hello Stranger.

I wish that I can be carefree and cool at the same time,but I'm too paranoid for my own good.I wish that I wasn't so clingy and dependent on you,cause I'm scared of the feelings that will surface when you leave me.I wish that I didn't think so much,but these fears have become permanent.I wish that I could be someone better,cause you deserve someone else who will be even more compatible with you.Yet at the same time,as much as wish that I could just walk away from you,I cant.I'm hopeless and a complete and utter dope,just like what you said.
Now do you understand my feelings?

Ellipses

I wanted to just hear your voice.I wanted to be reassured by the fact that you're alright.And even when I could hear you,it seems as though my ears are straining to hear you properly.The distance between us is growing without us realizing it.The words I wanted to say clung to my tongue and only silence reached you.I don't know you anymore.This silence is uncomfortable and frankly,its scaring me.I don't want to feel this uneasiness.I don't want to be insecure.I'm torn in between wanting to let out my feelings and making you happy.If its over,then just say it.Don't make me hope.I've been down that road before and it's not pleasant.

I'm Hoping...

24th October 1996

Sometimes in life,you just have to accept the fact that everything happens for a reason.There's no point in dwelling about the past or wondering about things that will never happen.You just have to accept the changes and live with it.As much as I wish and pray for the better,I know that beyond this storm,blue skies and rainbows awaits me.No matter how much this hurts me or leaves me broken,I will get out of this war with the ability to make them happy again.Even if I have to see you cry more tears,I will make you smile sincerely again.Even if I have to be rude to others,I will stand up for you.Even if you hurt us again,I will always respect you and accept your decision.Even if I have to be on the crossroad between two opinions,I will pull both of you back to the center.Everything will be okay again,and I will wait for that.

Just Wait.

You know what?t's true what my dad said.He always told me to treat people nicely regardless of how people treat you,and if someone were to do bad things to you or talk bad things about you,then one day,the truth will reveal itself.It's just like what he said really.We just ignored their foolish behaviour and after awhile,they themselves realized that they were pretty idiotic.They were confused by our indifference and slowly,they came to their senses.We didn't even need to explain anything but He showed it to them.He cleansed their eyes and the truth revealed itself before them.I wonder how they must have felt all this while.All those false accusations and stories,the long duration of neglecting us and isolating us from the rest.I wonder how they felt?
I was surprised when they actually called us and asked if they could visit us.I was surprised when they talked to us normally and treated my baby brother as though he was apart of the family.I was touched when they actually showed affection to my baby brother.I never thought this day would actually come but it did.Somehow I didn't feel the triumphant that I thought I would feel.Instead I pitied them because they jumped to conclusions before allowing us to explain ourselves.I pitied them cause the ones who were going through the problem was us and not them,and yet they behaved as though their world was coming to an end.I pitied them and was sad.I wasn't angry,just sad at their foolish actions.

via: fareenananana